Download PDF , by Beverly Conyers
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, by Beverly Conyers
Download PDF , by Beverly Conyers
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Product details
File Size: 665 KB
Print Length: 194 pages
Publisher: Hazelden Publishing; 1 edition (June 3, 2009)
Publication Date: June 3, 2009
Sold by: Simon & Schuster Digital Sales Inc.
Language: English
ASIN: B00BS02842
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#267,762 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
I bought this book based on other people’s reviews. When you have a loved one struggling, you want to help and do something to ease their pain. I know you have to be careful in what is considered helping and being an enabler. This book breaks it down well with helpful tips for the addicts loved ones. I refer to it in my head often when dealing with my brother. The main tip that I refer to often is the chapter speaking about getting too wrapped up in the addicts life and neglecting your own. It’s easy to go down that path because you love them and it’s hard to watch them struggle but the author is right when they say you have to live your own life and the only person who can truly change an addicts life is the addict himself/herself. I agreed with all the tips in this book, they felt right even though it can be difficult to accept them. I feel comfortable following these tips, knowing it’s the right thing to do (or react or not react) when I am supporting or speaking or listening to my brother. I feel more at peace and cry a lot less when I refer to this book and I don’t dwell on my brothers problems as much as I used to but I do try to reach out to him and be positive and be a happy/stable influence on him as much as I can. I do not down talk to him or tell him what to do. If he asks for my advice, I give it to him....in a positive way.
As a newcomer to dealing with a loved one with an addition, I really needed this book to help me understand and navigate through. I thought that it was a lack of willingness on the part of an addict to want help. In a small way, desire to get clean is part of it, but reading this helped me look at the bigger picture. Most important, it help me remember I only have control of what I do, and navigate my feeling durning the process. Very well written and very helpful.
If you have a family member or loved one who is addicted to drugs or alcohol, and you don't know what to do about it, then you should definitely read "Addict in the Family: Stories of Loss, Hope, and Recovery" by Beverly Conyers. You may ask yourself: Did I cause the addiction? How could I have been so blind? Is there any hope? How can I help him/her get well? Is it possible to find peace of mind? Family members of addicts have very few choices to make and all too often it's the wrong ones. "Addict in the Family" can help you make the right choices. Families are the hidden victims of addiction, and they endure much mental anguish, guilt, and shame. Much of the suffering is rooted in the false belief that the addict has only himself to blame and that he could cure himself if he really wanted to. Despite all the begging, pleading, threatening, reasoning, and bribing the family members do, the addict will usually persist in his destruction. There are several informative chapters about the nature of addiction that includes tips on how to recognize the addict's chief tools: denial, dishonesty, and manipulation. These tools allow the addict to get drugs, continue using drugs, and help conceal the addiction, which absolutely cannot exist without these three behaviors. There are also biological explanations for why the addict can no longer experience the normal pleasures of life, and I like the way Conyers uses the example of Pavlov's dogs to explain how certain people, places, and things can trigger intense craving in the recovering addict. And Conyers explains why the family member must seek recovery also. Most family members falsely believe they shouldn't have to do anything because they are not the one with the problem. But the prolonged stress and constant worry and shame can affect the overall health of the family member. They've been found to suffer from a long list of physical and mental maladies and in the end can be just as sick as the addict, and therefore, should work the twelve steps of Al-Anon. As the author points out, if changing habits, attitudes, and desires were only a matter of identifying the problem and fixing it, then there would be no need for the self-help movement, psychoanalysis, addiction treatment programs, or books like this one. Too many families suffer because of this disease and know next to nothing about it. And they often make the wrong choices in an attempt to fix a problem that can't be fixed. Getting educated about addiction is a must if families truly want to help themselves and their loved one recover. Conyers, who is also the mother of a heroin addict, can guide you through the minefield of addiction to real recovery with this informative and insightful book.David Allan ReevesAuthor of "Running Away From Me"
This book is probably the best book you can read when you have a love one who is addicted. It helps you understand some of the things that go thru an addicts mind. It helps you learn how to cope and understand how you help and hurt the situation. Obviously for personal reason this book got our family thru hopefully the worst times in our lives.
I have not only read this book but brought many copies to give to other parents suffering with a child with addiction disorder. This short,easy to read book tells OUR story as parents suffering with a child devastated by a heroin habit. The author help us understand the nature of addiction as a disease and not a moral shortcoming. It helps to know what one is feeing as a parent ( grief, lost, fear ) is not unusual and we are not alone. It also explains we can not fix our kids ( even though every fiber in our soul feels we can and must) and guides us to seeking help ourselves. I did just that and now facilitate a parent support group for parents dealing with the current opiate crisis. I always recommend it to new members and they are always grateful. Thanks you Bevery Conyers.
This book has been by my side throughout the blossoming of my son's addiction to heroin. I have been a fierce advocate and crisis intervention worker for over 15 years and still didnt have what I needed when this disease came to my front door unwelcomed and uninvited. This has been to say the least, the most crippling disease leaving a devastation in its wake that extracts the very life out of people including family members and friends of the addict. There is no way around it...a thief of mind body and soul. Love is the only rule..stay close and never give up. You are not alone. Please sign my petition to get Casey's Law passed in NYS. Go to change.org and type in Michael Nozzolio Pass Casey's Law
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